Saturday, June 7, 2008

Phew!

Shortly after 5 P.M. yesterday the Maternal and Fetal Medicine Clinic called. The little one has 46 chromosomes, no more, no less! What a weight lifted off our shoulders. AND...results showed XY - definitively a BOY! We still have a level II ultrasound in July at the Clinic and another in early August as well as an echocardiogram to take a close look at the heart and all other organs and systems to make sure all are functioning properly. I'd be remiss if I didn't say I still have some worry left in me, but knowing our little one is free of any abnormalities caused by missing or excessive chromosomes - abnormalities that have no chance for modern medicine to remedy - is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. Finally we can relax a bit this weekend and start planning for our little guy's arrival.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Scared

I know I have been an absentee blogger lately. Honestly, I've had a hard time talking about our pregnancy to anyone. I am scared. Scared something might be wrong. Scared to love this little being anymore than I do already. Scared to become too attached. Scared to plan for our future with a child. And the more I talk about it or put it into words, the more real it becomes and the more I love the growing soul inside me. I am scared to love something I might lose.

I am filled with anxiety, stress, fear and hope. I have panned the internet searching for nuchal translucency measurements like mine and most of my reading tells me the statistics are on our side. But the genetic counselor I spoke with last week failed to reassure me of this. She continued to tell me the 2.4mm measurement was high and she couldn't give me any statistics or numbers.

If we get the all-clear for chromosomal defects, we still have to wait until July for an echocardiogram and ultrasound to check for heart defects. And the another in August. All I want to do is enjoy this time, and I don't feel like I can yet. Hopefully soon....