Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Our little guy turned one year old last week and I have no idea where the time has gone. I have found myself reminiscing about the days after his birth when he was so little and would sleep in my arms and on my chest. I think I will definitely hold baby number two just a little bit longer and treasure those moments just a little bit more.

Speaking of baby number two, I am still waiting for my cycle to come back. I am just winding down breastfeeding. The plan is to move forward with IUI(s) after I have at least two cycles, so hopefully sometime at the beginning of 2010. Sadly, we only have one vial left of Miller's donor and he has since retired. We ordered three vials the other day from a new donor and they are now waiting for us at our RE's office. I cannot wait to start this wonderful journey all over again. Perhaps this will motivate me to start blogging more. :)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Too Long....

It has been an incredibly long time since I have last updated this blog, I am sure few of you are left reading. Life is busy but not so busy that I can't occasionally take the time to post. Please accept my apologies.

Miller will be 11 months old on Friday. 11 MONTHS. Where did the time go? Lately I've been rocking him to sleep at night and just staring at him, trying to remember every day of the last 11 months, trying to remember how small he was, trying to remember when he couldn't even hold his head up...but I can't. The days all seem to flow into weeks and into months and all that is in my consciousness is the here and now. The tears literally fill up my eyes on an almost nightly basis because he is growing up so fast. I just want to hold his little body against mine forever and ever. He is my heart.

I leave you with a few recent pictures of my little big man!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Five Months Old

I can't believe it has been nearly 4 months since my last post. Wow. Time flies. It isn't that I haven't had blogworthy things to write about - because I have - like the disappointment of not being able to make enough milk after pumping religiously, taking the prescription Reglan, having Miller's frenulum clipped, taking More Milk Plus herbs, and the disappointment of having to supplment with formula, like my struggle with the baby blues, like the arrival of our wonderful au pair, like my difficult return to work, like struggles with sleep - I could go on and on. Now most of those issues seem so far removed, except I still haven't slept for eight hours straight since November 29th and I still struggle with milk production (we still have to supplement) but otherwise life with Miller is grand. Those of you that are my internt friends who are still trying to conceive, hang in there, because it is all worth it in the end. And in the end, you will barely remember the struggles of trying to get there. I will leave you with some pictures of Miller at four and a half months old. I vow to be better about updating.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Congrats to Chronicles of Conception on the birth of their baby boy, Lachlan Grae!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

The Birth Story

Exactly one week and one day ago our little guy came into this world. It seemed time crept slowly the weeks and days before as we anticipated his arrival. Now that he is here, each hour flies by and I already find myself reminiscing about when he was younger and smaller.

In the early hours of Sunday, November 30th, I was awoken with menstrual-like cramps. For the preceding days I had what I describe as "baby cramps" so when I woke up for the first time at 1:30 A.M. I didn't think much of it. I went back to sleep only to wake up at 2:30 A.M. again. I was able to go back to sleep once more but at 3:30 A.M. I knew I would not be able to go back to sleep and I told Dana I was up and awake until Miller arrived.

I then spent about an hour and a half or so in a warm bath. At that time the contractions were much like the strongest menstrual cramps I had ever experienced but completely tolerable. Dana began timing them and we ascertained they were anywhere from 6 or 7 minutes to 10 or 12 minutes apart. We decided we would wait until 6:00 A.M. to call our doula.

At 6:00 A.M. Dana called our doula, who returned a day early from her Thanksgiving vacation because she thought I might go into labor Thanksgiving weekend and wanted to be here for us (she did have a backup doula lined up.) We were so thankful for our doula's early return because she was such a great part of our successful birth. Our doula arrived at our house around 7:30 A.M.

My contractions began growing more intense and a bit closer together, although not completely regular and varying between 3 minutes and 6 or 7 minutes. Our doula said this was completely normal. We spent most of our time in the den, and with each contraction I would lean over the back of the couch or sit on the birthing ball while Dana and our doula rubbed my back.

At 11:30 A.M. Dana and our doula decided we would assess our departure for the hospital around 12:00 noon. Shortly after 12:00, our doula decided it was time for us to go to the hospital, especially since I was Group B Strep positive and had to get a round of antibiotics a few hours before delivery. At that point, I was ready to go.

Once in the car, I climbed in the back seat with a few pillows and put on my headphones to listen to one of my hypnobabies CDs. The ride to the hospital seemed excruciatingly long. Once at the hospital, I was quickly sent to triage to be checked. The nurse ascertained I was 6-7 cm dilated and I was immediately admitted.

Once in the labor and delivery room, our doula gave the two nurses our birth plan. In the end, both the nurses were wonderful. However, at the outset one of the nurses, Daniella, seemed a little curt. She insisted on an order from the doctor to allow me to labor in the tub or to walk around. The doctor of course consented so there were no issues. We learned later my labor that Daniella was in midwifery school and completely supportive of natural childbirth. In the last minutes before Miller's birth, she was greatly supportive.

One of the nurses inserted an IV in my arm and started the antibiotics for Group B Strep. I was then able to get into the bathtub where I labored for the next few hours. Dana and our doula took turns spraying warm water on my back. After about an hour, the IV was taken out and a hep lock left in my arm. I continued to labor in the tub. Probably about 3:00 I wanted to get out of the tub. I was beginning to get very uncomfortable and I even once asked "remind me why I want to do this without an epidural?" Daniella responded "because it will be a great experience."

Once out of the tub I sat on the toilet, which seemed comfortable for a short period of time. Once I sat down, I felt what I describe as a water balloon popping and then a gush of fluid. I looked down and the fluid was discolored. My water had broken and it was confirmed that Miller passed meconium in utero. This meant that I would not be able to hold him directly after the delivery because he would need to be assessed by a special team and suctioned to ensure that he did not ingest any of the meconium. Although our birth plan contemplated Miller being placed directly on my chest, we of course only wanted what was best for the little guy.

At some point shortly thereafter I have to admit I began asking for some pain relief. Our doula suggested the nurse check me to see how much I had progressed and I agreed. I climbed into bed. The nurse checked me and told me I was 8 1/2 to 9 cm dilated. I again asked for some pain relief. I remember looking up at Dana, our doula and the nurses but no one seemed to respond to my request. I have no idea how much time passed, but the next thing I really remember is Daniella announcing I was complete and could push.

I began to push and pushed for about 20 minutes before the on call doctor arrived, who had been delivering another baby. I do remember the nurse preparing to deliver the baby because it was very possible that the doctor would not be able to make it in time for the delivery. The pain at this point was entirely different but I can say my body knew when to push. I pushed for what I am told was an hour but time seemed to stand still. I remember watching Miller come into this world and then being taken to a station in the room to make sure all was well. Dana was with him and within a few minutes, he was on my chest. Our doula helped me with his first latch and he immediately began breast feeding.

Any discomfort and any pain have been fading from my memory day by day. Without a doubt I would do it all over again and I would not change a thing about Miller's birth. It was one of the best days of my life.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Miller's First Days

So far, so good, even if a bit sleep deprived. We fall more in love with our little guy each passing hour. Birth story to come soon, I promise. Until then, I leave you with a few pictures of Miller's first days.

Monday, December 1, 2008

It's Miller TIme

Miller made his grand entrance into this world yesterday at 4:50 P.M. We are in love with our little guy and are still on cloud nine. More birth story to come later but here is a short synopsis:
Moderate contractions started around 3:30 A.M.
Called our doula at 6:00 A.M.
Doula arrived at our house at 7:30 A.M.
Labored at home until 12:30.
Arrived at the hospital at 1:00 P.M. I was approximately 6-7 cm dilated.
After a drug free labor, Miller was born at 4:50 P.M.
6 lbs, 15 oz. 19 inches long.
He is breastfeeding like a champ!