Hypnobabies

After much research on various birthing classes, we decided to enroll in Hypnobabies. For a myriad of reasons, I hope to have a drug-free child birth, but I also recognize the need for flexibility in our birth plan. Regardless, I think Hypnobabies will provide me with the best tools and the confidence to bring Miller into this world in the most natrual way possible.

In preparation for the first class, the instructor provided a CD that would begin introducing the self-hypnotizing process and basics. I must admit the instructions were to listen everyday, but out of the past couple of weeks, I only found time to listen a handfull of times. I know I must be better about this moving forward if I really am to dedicate myself to this program. Life just gets so busy sometimes.

Yesterday was our first class. There are two other couples in the class and I really like the intimate nature such a small class provides. We will meet for five Sundays, three hours each session. Each day I have "homework" to complete - either listening to various scripts from CDs or having Dana read me a hypnosis script. Thus far I have really been impressed with the power of the mind and I am very encouraged and enthusiasic. This was definitely the right choice for us and I will keep you all posted on the progress.

Things Not To Say To a Pregnant Woman

Dana and I took a few extra days off surrounding the long Labor Day weekend and made our annual trip to Fisher's Island, New York, to visit my aunt who summers there. We absolutely love the island, especially this time of year, when fall in New England begins to make its arrival. Our days are spent taking long walks, spending time at the beach, and just relaxing...except for the social engagements. Oh, the social engagements. Sigh. You see, on this very quaint and beautiful six mile island there are not one but two country clubs. My aunt is a member of one, the "little club", but desperately wants to be a member of the "big club" which has about a ten year waiting list just to be "put up" by a current member and be considered. What does this mean for us? It means everything we do or wear is scrutinized. It means my aunt is completely obsessed with what other people might think.

Years ago when I first came out my aunt told my mother I could continue visiting her on the island, but I couldn't bring any of my "gay" friends for fear she might not get into the "big club." Things have changed a bit, and my aunt not only invites Dana and me to visit, but she is very generous in her own way with us. Once we get there, we are wined and dined and given a few hundred dollars in cash upon our departure. So, please note we are not ungrateful for her show of kindness.

However, I had a breakdown on the first full day we were there as we were preparing to go to the "little club" for lunch. Dana and I came in from a walk, she looked me up and down and said, "don't you have any cute clothes? Something that wouldn't show your stomach as much?" Excuse me? I am six and a half months pregnant and you want me to hide my stomach? Are you kidding? She then attempted to insist that we go down to the one boutique shop so she could buy me an appropriate shirt. Let me say that I was wearing new maternity khaki shorts and a white maternity V-neck, long sleeve shirt, with my beach appropriate Chaco flip-flops. Oh, and the boutique shop does not sell maternity wear. Even if it did, I am highly doubtful that I could find anything in that store I actually might wear. Needlepoint belts with the Fisher's Island likeness aren't exactly my style, not to mention I could never afford to spend $100 on any one item of clothing or accessory alone. I digress....

She next wanted to know if we had anything more appropriate to wear to lunch at the "big club" on Sunday as we had been invited as guests. Something more colorful she said, because the people there look a little more suave. Perhaps a skirt or a dress she suggested. Not only was I in a bind now, but Dana did not bring any skirts or dresses as neither one of us regularly wear (or even own) such items. I walked back to our room and had a breakdown. I cried for a short while, pulled myself together, put on the most frumpy mauve shirt I had with my shorts, and passed for appropriate. I wore that shirt multiple times the next few days.

Fast forward to dinner Saturday night. While at dinner (at the little club of course) my aunt proceeds to tell me that my own mother and her best friend forewarned her that I was "big." Again, I am six and a half months pregnant. I have this an issue with the weight I've gained in the first place, so telling me I am big does not help me feel good about myself. In case you are wondering, I have gained about 25 pounds, so I now weight about 140. It isn't like I am sitting around eating bon bons and watching T.V. I am still working out, staying active, and eating well. I'm still a vegetarian, and I still (usually) don't eat desserts (except while on vacation!) When I questioned my mother about this comment she said, "well, you are big." Don't say these things to a pregnant woman. It is not a compliment.

On the bright side, Dana and I had many long walks together under the blue New England sky and a whole afternoon to ourselves at the beach. The weather was cool and the breeze brought hints of fall. Being there always makes me long for the three years I spent in Vermont. We even spent one evening sailing around the island (see pic of Dana above). Overall, we came home relaxed and a bit rejuvenated, but I think we're skipping the annual Fisher's Island trip next year, especially given we'll have a little one in tow.

A small Sacre

I started bleeding yesterday, not severely, but enough to be concerned. After calling the on-call nurse at my OB practice, I was immediately sent to Labor and Delivery at the hospital. Scary. I don't want to be in Labor and Delivery for at least twelve more weeks. Three hours of monitoring both the little guy and me and a few lab tests later, they sent us home with instructions to rest and follow up with my OB on Monday. The bleeding has now completely stopped and I feel fine. Whew....

Half Way There

Last week marked 20 weeks. 20 more to go (give or take of course.) What does this mean? The halfway point put me in a panic because we really have not done much to prepare. Don't get me wrong, this little guy has clothes to wear for the first 24 months of his life, courtesy of my wonderful mother (can you tell he will be the first grandchild?) But he has nothing else. He won't be naked, but he has no cloth diapers or crib in which to sleep. Where do we begin?

We decided on colors for the nursery this weekend and we went to our local Sherwin Williams store - they will mix any of their paint colors in their Harmony latex paints which contain no VOCs - but it was closed on Sunday so we'll have to go back next weekend. My mother is coming next week to help shop for some essentials like a stroller, car seat, etc. I refuse to shop at Toys R Us and Babies R Us because they got a "do not buy" rating from the HRC in the 2008 Buying For Equality Guide. I just can't bring myself to shop there. At least Target gets the green light from the Buying Guide.

Then there are the items we want that I have no source for locally, like an organic crib mattress and organic crib sheets. I've already resigned to buying a crib online because I don't want a crib with any pressed wood, which contains high amounts of formaldehyde. If you are interested, see this article. Even FEMA (surprise) has admitted the trailers provided to Katrina victims were toxic to those living in them because of high levels of formaldehyde in the pressed wood and plywood used in constructing the trailers. The same pressed woods and plywoods are used in making many cribs, even higher end cribs. Do you realize how much it costs to try make environmentally sound choices for both our baby and mother nature? Geez-O-Pete! I'm getting off my soap-box now...

Congrats!

Congrats to Love Makes A Family and Cutest Little Babymakers In Town for their new arrivals, Owen and Theo!

All Is Well

We just finished our level II ultrasound at the perientologist and not only did our little guy measure right on target, all organs looked perfect, including the heart - so much so that he said we did not need to come back for our scheduled ultrasound in August. Hooray! We have an OB appointment in just over an hour and then we're finished with appointments for this month.

I can't explain the complete relief I feel at this moment. In the past hour I have fully let my worries and fears go and am now 110% attached to this little guy incubating inside me. Not that I wasn't attached before today's good news, but I held a part of me back, just in case something was developmentally wrong and not correctable. My heart is now fully open and loves this little guy more than I could ever imagine. I truly can't wait to meet him.

On Monday we toured the women's center at the hospital where we will deliver. The womens' center opened only a couple of years ago and is practically brand new. The birthing and postpartum rooms are intended to be "spa-like" with jacuzzi tubs, hardwood floors, beds for partners, and other amenities. While not quite spa standards, it is as close as it gets for a hospital and we were very impressed with the facilities. They even have lactation consultants on staff that come to the room shortly after the birth to help begin breastfeeding. Of course our doula will be with us as well.

I debated whether to share our little guy's name in the blogoshpere world or abbreviate it as some do, but Dana and I agreed to share it as long as we withhold the last name. Drum roll...our little guy's name will be....Miller! Miller was my great uncle, my beloved grandmother's brother. Dana and I had no trouble agreeing on this name and it just fit from the moment it was spoken. Miller!

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass

It seems that every post in recent memory starts with my apology for not blogging more. But, that's just how the days of our lives go - rather unremarkable and not much to report. Work has me billing lots of hours and working from home most nights after leaving the office. With the less than stellar economy, I am trying to ensure my job security.

Here we are, nearly 17 full weeks, and I feel fine, just a bit bigger. My belly is starting to round out a bit more and my pants not only do not button but they do not zip either. Thank goodness for the Bella Band. Maternity clothes will follow shortly.

The little guy's movements are subtle and sporadic - but I can feel them. He is probably moving around all the time, I just can't feel them all yet. We have received a plethora of clothes from my mother and he's officially got an easter outfit sized for 24 months, which strikes me as funny not only because that will be two and a half years away, but also because we don't really celebrate Easter specifically - we're Unitarian Universalists. The only real purchase we've made recently are pee pee tee pees. Target overwhelms me and I have no idea where to start with any of the other necessities, but know we really need to start thinking about them. December will be here before we know it.

Next week we have two appointments - one level II ultrasound at the Maternal and fetal Medicine Clinic and an appointment with our OB. We have also scheduled a tour of the women's center at the hospital where we will be delivering the little guy. Wow. I am even getting overwhelmed typing this because there is so much to do in the coming months. I do have priorities, though. I have planned our "babymoon" and at the end of September we'll be going to Hawaii for a week. Three nights on Oahu and four nights on the Big Island. If any of you have ever been there, I am definitely up for suggestions and recommendations!