A Tiny Heart Beat

We saw and heard a tiny little heart beat on Friday. A HEARTBEAT! Dana teared up and I was transfixed on the ultrasound monitor in complete amazement. There is a living being inside me! We have one more ultrasound on May 5th with our wonderful RE and then he releases us to the OB with whom we have an appointment on May 8th. All is well.

Mayo and Other Musings

On Sunday we planned our dinners for the week. It is much easier when we do this because I can plan, buy groceries ahead of time and even do some of the prep the day before so when we get home from work we are not eating at 9 PM. I'd never make it that long. Not now and never before - I get food grumpy and it isn't pretty. So, Monday night's dinner was to be a spring cous cous with a honey lemon vinaigrette. But by 5 PM I was craving a veggie burger. Not just any veggie burger but a brand we don't typically buy and it had to have mayo on it. As a rule, prior to this craving of course, mayo does not grace my sandwiches of any kind; mayo is reserved for potato salad and other similar edibles, but never burgers or sandwiches - until Monday night. It is now Wednesday and we still haven't had the cous cous so the dinner schedule has been completely thrown off. I fear this is just the beginning....

And So It Begins

I'm tired. Really tired. Not all the time, but by 9:30 each night I am asleep in Dana's lap on the couch while she sips red wine and unwinds from her day. And then I wake up what seems like every 20 minutes to go to the bathroom. Now, my bladder has always been the size of a pea and there is never a night I don't get up three to four times to go to the bathroom. But, I kid you not, last night I think I got up at least seven times, maybe eight or even nine. I have no idea. Part of this is mental, stemming from a mountaineering trip nearly ten years ago on Mt. Baker. We were snowed in for a week. I mean snowed in - whiteout conditions - I couldn't see my hand when I held it out in front of my body. So what do you do all day in a three person tent when you can't go anywhere? Sleep. If you don't get up to go outside to the bathroom, and you hold it all in, it takes more of your body's energy to heat the fluid you've accumulated in your bladder. When you rid your body of the fluid, you stay warmer because less energy is used to keep the fluid at 98.6, and, the key part for me, you sleep warmer and sounder. My mind reverts back to "if you just get up now and take care of this issue, you won't have to worry about it for a good while and you will sleep better." Am I making any sense? I know my cozy house is not a tent nor do we ever have whiteout conditions in N.C. However, my mind urges me to combat this problem immediately upon of feeling the slightest urge. Sigh....

Otherwise, I feel fine. No nausea. Nothing. This scares me a bit. I do not want to feel terrible...but I do...but I don't...I just want some confirmation our little embryo is still growing and cells dividing like crazy inside of me. Understandably, I'm still a little guarded from the miscarriage. We're counting down the days until our first ultrasound on Friday at 1:30 and I hope to breathe a big sigh of relief once we see Sweepy-D in utero, heart beating away.

More Beta

Beta was 617 today and the nurse believes today's blood test was the last one needed, barring any unforeseen circumstances. Next stop: vaginal ultrasound.

We're Doubling

The results of this morning's blood test show my HCG levels are 188. 188 is higher than my HCG ever was last time. That's a doubling time of 1.38 days. I was cautiously optimistic after the blood test on Wednesday, but now my mind has eased a bit. One more blood test on Monday and if all is well, the RE will schedule a vaginal ultrasound. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this little soul inside me sticks it out.

Tomorrow promises to bring rain and thunderstorms here which will afford me some warm and cozy time at home with Dana who has been out of town for three days this week. My plan is to begin knitting one of the hats from the Itty Bitty Hats book and I think I can probably finish one tomorrow. And I think I might try to find a new recepie with apples. We subscribe to a service here called "Absolute Organics" and they deliver organic produce to our house every other week. This week there were a handful of apples that we won't be able to finish unless I do something with them. Suggestions?

It's For Real!

Because we had a positive test at home yesterday, the RE brought me in this morning for a blood test. No waiting until Friday for official confirmation. Beta came back 68.9. Woo hoo! They are changing my progesterone from Crinone gel to suppositories to give the good ole uterus a little extra boost. Thank you all for your kind comments and most of all for the support. And Kelly, yes, I too am glad I am not straight - for many reasons! :)

More Than A Pink Ghost

Last time we tested on day 11 with negative results. But Dana leaves today for three days out of town and we wanted to be together just in case we saw the elusive pink line. Well, it appeared this morning about 6:30 AM. More than a pink ghost. I must say I am still cautiously optimistic and will not really believe it until I test again tomorrow morning. Or probably until we get through ALL the blood tests. And probably the first vaginal ultrasound. Can this really be?